It has been one year precisely since I last
posted on this blog. More than one person has asked me why I stopped blogging, and
urged me to pick it up again. It has been a trying year, but now I am ready to
resume blogging. As I look over this blog’s statistics in the past twelve
months, I note with satisfaction that the number of followers of this blog
increased during the silent year from 43 to 53.
So now I have ideas for several blogposts that I
hope to put here in the next few weeks. Working titles are “Sabbath and
Retirement”, “Chrysalis”, “The Joy of Explosives”, “Paul in Jerusalem”,
“Forests and Cities”, “Moses”, “Sky and Sea”, and “His Blood Be On Us”.
But I’ll begin with “Daily First Prayer”.
For many years I have maintained a prayer
journal. It is a living document—that is, I am constantly writing and rewriting
it as my life changes. A small part of it has been creating and refining what I
call “Daily First Prayer”. I start each day with the following words (or
similar words—I don’t just read it, but rather pray it from memory).
Thank you for the
beginning of this day,
with its promise and potential
I commit myself to the
practice and pursuit this day
of sanctity above all else
Guide and bless my
labors and doings this day [especially ___ ]
Defend me
in all times of assault, danger, and temptation
Give me a strong sense of the constant fellowship of your
Saints
Help me,
like them, to choose and desire only what is good
and to cleave to it;
to resist, reject, and abhor all that is evil;
and to be able to discern the difference
when it is difficult for me to do so
Grant me grace that I
may show forth the fruits of the Spirit,
and that
my life may be a radiant and effective testimony to Jesus
I love you, O Lord my
God; help me to love you
with my whole heart, mind, soul, and strength
Help me to
trust in your guidance and providence in all situations,
and to look for and find blessings in all circumstances
Grant me grace that I
may truly love all people,
freely
receive love from others in the way they offer it,
and strive
always to see myself as you do, as the rule of self regard
On
Wednesdays and Fridays I add
Whenever I sin, bridge
the gap of my failings
and bless
any who might be harmed because of me
Then show me my sin,
bring me to repentance and confession,
have mercy
on me, forgive me, restore me to you, and
grant
reconciliation with any whom I have offended
Help me to forgive those
who have sinned against me
and to
find blessing in the circumstances of their sin
Give me desire and grace
for amendment of life
It’s
taken several years to refine this prayer, and I suppose that it isn’t finished
yet. Line by line, this is what I mean by it:
Thank you for the
beginning of this day,
with its promise and potential
Each day begins with
hope and intention for my coming more and more to know and love and serve God.
Such an attitude or commitment dispels depression and discouragement at the
beginning of the day, and puts the focus on God first.
I commit myself to the
practice and pursuit this day
of sanctity above all else
Some years back I
changed a request that God make me holy to a commitment or promise to practice
it. That turns what could have been a constant petition into a proactive
intention. Always asking implies that I am comfortable remaining immature in
Christ. If I am truly to become holy, I must ask for it indeed, but must also make
decisions and choose actions that are holy. Adding the word “pursuit” shows
that I recognize that growing in sanctity must be a lifelong pattern.
Guide and bless my
labors and doings this day [especially ___ ]
Clearly, the day’s specifics are mentioned here. This will
include prayer for all the people with whom I expect to have any contact,
whether by email, telephone, or in person; and every task or errand or time of
rest that I can anticipate. I lay the day’s realities before God and put them
under his sovereignty.
Defend me
in all times of assault, danger, and temptation
I pray God’s protection in wisdom, patience, and
all virtue whenever someone attacks me for any reason and by any means (it’s
usually by email); whenever danger threatens in any way; and whenever I am
drawn to something apart from the will of God.
Give me a strong sense of the constant fellowship of your
Saints
It is a great strength of the Catholic faith and one of the
great birthrights of and gifts to each believer that we are “surrounded by a
great cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1). Every date has a variety of the
heroes and heroines of the Faith associated with it. Each disciple must keep
his eyes and desires away from what is worthless and deceptive and turned
toward what is within the will of God, and the Saints’ examples, encouragement,
and living prayers are resources of incalculable power.
Help me,
like them, to choose and desire only what is good
and to cleave to it;
“Choosing” what is good will often comes before
a desire for it. Making a choice is an act of will, and choice is a primary
characteristic of human nature. God gives us the dignity of choice in all
things, and by our choices we shape our souls. So first we choose it, then we
come to desire it, and finally we cleave to what we have chosen. I ask that the
Saints’ influence will be a resource to help me become like them in these matters.
to resist, reject, and abhor all that is evil;
Though we are surrounded by a cloud of
witnesses, we are also “assaulted by many temptations”. Just as choice precedes
desire, so resistance must precede rejection. Cleaving to what is good is
enhanced by an abhorrence of all evil.
and to be able to discern the difference
when it is difficult for me to do so
Moral and spiritual blacks and whites do abound,
but in most instances we perceive shades of gray. Although ignorance of God’s
will is taken into consideration by him, and our good desires are evidence of
our striving to walking the road to heaven, many of our real life situations
can be very complex. In such times, a prayer for discernment is needed that we
may be shown the will of God.
Grant me grace that I
may show forth the fruits of the Spirit,
The fruits of the Spirit, namely
“love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and
self-control”, are the outworking or manifestation of a godly life. Inward
attitude and commitment must be evident to those in the world in which we live.
and that
my life may be a radiant and effective testimony to Jesus
and the consequence of showing forth the fruits
of the Spirit must be a pointing to Jesus and his effectiveness in our lives.
I love you, O Lord my
God; help me to love you
with my whole heart, mind, soul, and strength
Inspired by the appeal of the man with the
demoniac son who said, “I believe! Help me in my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24), so
this statement begins with my genuine but only human love of God, which, in its
very essence, asks for grace to love God as he commands—that we love him with
everything that it means to be human, to be ourselves.
Help me to
trust in your guidance and providence in all situations,
and to look for and find blessings in all circumstances
Love of God is immediately applied in how we
receive, perceive, and work that love in the complexities of real life. Some
situations we face are tremendously painful or otherwise awful. Whether they
are God’s will for us or not, they are at least permitted by God, and we are to
trust that he is present in them, has not abandoned us, and that there is
always a blessing to be found. Very often, however, we must LOOK for the
blessing if we are to find it; if we don’t look, we usually confine ourselves
to a smaller vision of what we can see and thereby miss many good things that
are right in front of us.
Grant me grace that I
may truly love all people,
As Jesus taught, the love of God must include the love of
neighbor as one loves oneself. It is easy to love the stranger, and often more
difficult to love those we know and see regularly. This petition asks that our
love of all people, the “neighbors” of Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan,
must be “true”—not merely a feeling or sentiment, but a soul-deep reality
manifested in attitude and action.
freely
receive love from others in the way they offer it,
This line accepts that other people are as
flawed as we are, and that their love shown to us may be egregiously tainted or
misguided. We are to give them the benefit of the doubt, assume that they are
doing their best, not prejudiciously attribute duplicity to them, and trust
that they are loving us.
and strive
always to see myself as you do, as the rule of self regard
Yet, whether people love us or hate
us or are indifferent to us, or whatever their attitude toward us and whatever
their motives behind their attitudes toward us, we are to strive to regard our
selves, our own worth, by God’s standard alone. This is how we must love
ourselves, which is the basis of our measure of loving others: how does God see
us? As a corollary, how does God see others? Any other standard for love will
be distorted and deceptive. As Paul wrote, “With me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by
you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself” (1 Corinthians
4:3). And for every servant of the Lord, “It is before his own master that he
stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand”
(Romans 14:4).
Whenever I sin, bridge
the gap of my failings
and bless
any who might be harmed because of me
Knowing
that I am a sinner, in my confession I ask first not for forgiveness, but I
pray first for those who are caused to suffer because of me. The prayer is that
God will “bridge the gap”, i.e. make good on whatever harm I have done others
by providing a blessing to them through or in place of the hurt.
Then show me my sin,
bring me to repentance and confession,
have mercy
on me, forgive me, restore me to you, and
grant
reconciliation with any whom I have offended
This is the normal order of events in which one
is set right with God after a sin. One must first know that one has sinned,
then be convicted of the sin or brought to repentance. Confession of the sin
must follow that, at which time mercy can be shown. Mercy leads to forgiveness,
and after forgiveness the broken relationship with God is restored. Finally,
reconciliation with the victims of one’s sins must be a consequence of
forgiveness from God, or that forgiveness normally cannot be complete. Of
course, reconciliation with others depends upon them as well, and the depth of
their own sins and their own sinfulness can delay or prevent full
reconciliation. In such a case, their own sins come into play, and one’s own forgiveness
from God will not be prevented. No sinner has veto power over God’s mercy and
forgiveness shown to another.
Help me to forgive those
who have sinned against me
and to
find blessing in the circumstances of their sin
Of course, there are times when we ourselves
will be the victims of other’s sins, and the procedure described above will
apply in that case also, even though we are in a different place in the
outworking of mercy. This petition asks that we will be eager for
reconciliation and glad to proffer forgiveness when it is our place to do so.
Give me desire and grace
for amendment of life
Finally, we must overall become
better in the Christian life, and that will happen only by grace, and grace is
almost always preceded by the desire for it. Thus we end near where we began:
with the desire for holiness.
